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Planet Alcatraz aka Dungeon Crawlers

Russian Fallout in Monthy Python World ^_^

There is a LOT to say about Planet Alcatraz ! This game was released in 2009 by the Russian Company 1C… But the translation process from russian to english was complicated ! Not because of translation issues… But because the game was FULL of Crude and Foul Language ! Now in 2017 by our new society standards and games like Grand Theft Auto… It wouldn’t be a problem anymore, but maybe back in 2009 It was a big issue.

SO… Most of the Offensive Stuff was removed during the English Translation

  • That means NO RAPE… NO Insults… NO Niggers, Cunts and Pussies…
  • Also the Translators who did the job were BAD and even LAUGHABLE ! 😀
  • And that’s why i called this Russian Fallout a Monthy Python ^_^

Because the final english translation result is completely STUPID and HILARIOUS ! The guys who translated this game must have been on Serious BOOZE, or any other CRAZY Stuff you can take to chase the Dragon lol 😀 Well coming from a country where Vodka is the main drink to warm you up… shouldn’t be surprised 😛

Some examples at what you can hear…

  • To fight ! is the only way… to win the fight ^_^ 😀 😛 Loooooool !
  • Sodomize me and Fuck me have been changed to “Caress Me Master”
  • What the Fuck have been changed to “I don’t even want to Swear”
  • Fucking Faggots have been changed by “They’re Disgusting”
  • Cocksucker have been changed by “Aubergine” 😀
  • “I am going to stick my Big Cock in your Ass” changed by “I want to stick my knife in your belly” lol…
  • “Whack the Bastards” is OVERUSED when people want to kill you lol… It seems like all your enemies want to “WHACK YOU” rofl ! They only know this sentence…

etc… etc… There are hundreds of examples like that… Game was HEAVILY CENSORED !

How did i come accross Planet Alcatraz in the first place ? Well it happens that i already played to some games from this Russian Company 1C. First it was an old RPG named Evil Islands which had VERY INTERESTING ideas, and Secondly there was this GREAT Space Opera named Star Wolves !

But the main problem with Russian Video games is… They are BUGGED ! Yes they are full of little bugs and sometimes you can’t even complete a quest, without finding by yourself how to bypass the bug -_- It’s a shame because MOST of the russian video games are coming with Innovative ideas ! Really most of these games are Very Interesting to play, and it’s sad to see such ingenuity be spoiled by bugs.

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Like other Russian Games there is a Sequel !

But in Russian only… -_-

I’ve managed to grab it via a Torrent called Incubus something… just look for Incubus. The game works nicely, but it’s in Russian from A to Z. Some fans wanted to translate it, but all of them gave up eventually.

So i gave it a try in early September 2017… I managed to understand how to unpack / repack .Pak files with the santools software, which was developed for Planet Alcatraz 1 but also works for Planet Alcatraz 2. I also found a way to translate the files fast, while using Google Translation Toolkit. But there will be at least 200 files to translate…

I was more or less successful… can’t really put more details about it, as i’ll have to give it another try one day. Anyway i have all the files i need on my computer to do my tests, and i intend to keep them.

Some Useful Hints (No worry No spoilers below)

  1. If you plan to download this game illegally, and i won’t be the one to blame you… Look for the SKIDROW version ! The game is translated in english, the version is 1.06 and it works FAR BETTER than the pirated steam version.
  2. The sooner you find your 3 comrades the better ! You can do all the quests in the starting industrial zone, but once you have access to the northern city… Try to put away the side quests for later. You have a contact to see in the northern city, and it should be your main priority.
  3. Every time you find a new Comrade, he will give you some new missions on the map. There will be Human and Monster related missions, complete all the human missions to unlock the mission to find your next comrade.
  4. When your team is full, you can begin to do the hundred of side quests 😉
  5. In the Quest where you have to Bring some Niagara to Andre. Once you have it in your inventory, download right here the media03.bm file, and put it in the game folder (and NEVER remove it afterwards or the game won’t start !). Without this file the game will crash during a dialog…
  6. After killing the 3 traitors as your first task in the Legion, you’ll encounter a black screen before your very first mission. At this moment type 1 time on the Enter Key, then 1 time on the Escape Key. The Arrow Icon will change in a Movie Icon and the action movie will start. (If it goes directly to the dialog, no worry you didn’t miss anything, the guard of the cage saying sorry and running away)
  7. At the end of the game (NO SPOILER don’t worry) when you’ll find Imperial Weapons… Don’t spend all the ammo on what seems to be the last mission of the game. Because it won’t be the very last fight… And the last fight i am not disclosing here will be TOUGH, so only use half your Imperial ammo but not more.

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How long is Planet Alcatraz ?

70 Hours if you plan like me to do all the side quests and to find every chests ! You can even boost this lifetime by stealing a lot from people, because there are many houses requiring a special key to open them… And these are generally found in their owner’s pockets 😉

Is the Story interesting ? Solid Plot and Background ?

The Story is nice like every russian games, the plot is good and it’s really interesting.

One thing to mention… is that Dialogs can get you killed ^_^ So pay attention about the answers you’re giving… Some answers can sound your death in just one click. Remember that you’re on a Giant Prison Planet with a secret mission to complete… Speak too much and you’re dead 😉

That’s also why i like russian games… In many of their games there are things to make you understand that… you can’t do everything you want ! You sometimes have to abid by the rules if you want to stay alive. And it makes you feel that whatever your level… You can still find a quick death !

How Pro is Voice Acting ?

IT’S DISASTROUS 😀 LAUGHABLE to the point… That this game once translated in english looks more like a comedy than a Fallout 😀 Between the crazy stuff you’re going to hear, and the REALLY STUPID Character Animations… You might sometimes pee in your pants 😛

Is there a Maximum Level you can reach ?

NO there is no Maximum level… But it will be hard for you to reach a higher level than 48 ! It will require a LOT of experience to go from 48 to 49, and as stealing gives experience… You might want to steal from everyone you meet if you want to reach lvl 49. Then reaching level 50 and above is i think impossible…

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Is Planet Alcatraz challenging ?

In Hard mode it’s really HARD, but fortunately you can save anywhere at anytime ! You can even save during battles, and without that i wouldn’t have survived in Hard mode. By the half of the game, some missions are FULL of enemies swarming you if you’re not careful.

Are the enemies respawning in Planet Alcatraz ?

No… Once they’re dead… they’re dead ! That’s also why it’s quite impossible to reach level 50… You can’t grind experience as at one point there won’t be any enemies left.

How important are the skills in Planet Alcatraz ?

Well here are some tips… and No worry still no spoilers !

  1. Create your Main Character with a Constitution of 10 (take the Bull Perk)
  2. A strength of 7 is required for the second biggest armor of the game
  3. Save your first 3 Perk points for the Botanist Perk, then there is a Perk giving you a 10% more critical with every weapons. The rest is up to you… Though i would recommend you to NOT Take the Full T Flak Jacket Perk… Because this armor is not the strongest in the game, and at one point you won’t use it anymore. That would be wasted perk points.
  4. Raise your Melee Skill to 100 and no more, then Specialize in Heavy Weapons ! Melee Skill will help you during the first levels, but as soon as you can find / buy a rifle do it ! You can click on the AIM button, and then by pressing the Numpad 8 you can target the head of your enemies. Most Rifles are based on the Heavy Weapon skill, and like that you can One Shot Humans by Blowing Off their heads !
  5. Shotguns and Pistols will be COMPLETELY USELESS at some point, so don’t bother investing points in these skills. These will be lost, as there are NO high end shotguns. BUT there are HIGH END Rifles and Submachine Guns ! And all of these are using the Skill Heavy Weapon.
  6. First AID is useful but not too much, raise them to 100 and not more.
  7. Raise your main character Thieving to around 80-90 and not more to open every chests.
  8. There are some coachs who can Increase your base stats, DONT Visit them until you have found all of your 3 comrades ! Because these coach will boost your entire team skills, and if one guy is missing… nothing for him !
  9. At the end of the game BOOST your Heavy Weapons and Imperial Weapons Skills, with whatever skills points you have left. You can even upgrade them past 200 points, the more the better to One Head Shot enemies.

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Is there a major bug in Planet Alcatraz ?

There is one MAJOR bug i described above and you need to download a file.

Apart from that there are several little bugs…

  • Remember to save a lot, because the game can crash at anytime ^_^
  • The game can also crash while saving, and it will corrupt your savegame.
  • Apart from 4 or 5 people in game who will attack you, you can steal from everyone, you can open every chests right in front of their owner… Nobody will say anything 😛 Seems like the script to protect their belongings don’t work lol
  • Trying to Alt-Tab is a 50% chance of crashing the game ^_^
  • The Pathing is… HORRIBLE -_- Your characters are really dumb…
  • Sometimes you can even be stuck by npcs… -_-

Is there a trick to know in Planet Alcatraz ?

There is a quest later in the game… Where you can Buy and Resell Alcohol for money. If you have a HIGH Trade skill like 150… You can benefit from this trade each time. And so like that you can literally make infinite money though it’s time consuming. But money is not useless like in any other european games….

As later in the game… You’ll meet a certain doctor with VERY USEFUL skills, and VERY HIGH prices 😉

Apart from that… Stealing from people is a great way to make LOT of XP !

You can Heal your team using FOOD or Healing Kits even when the game is PAUSED ! SO don’t hesitate to SPAM these heals, as your health can drop pretty quickly ! Better Stock on Healing Kits by the end of the game.

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So… is it worth buying or downloading ?

Personally i didn’t pay for it… (here is the link to steam though)

The game is just 4€ on Steam… and i hope that the version was updated, because the pirated steam version i found at the beginning was not working, and i had to rely on the SKIDROW version 1.06.

It’s a good game ! That’s a shame that the translation was such a disaster.

The difficulty i played on : HARD and at some point it’s REALLY HARD !

How long is this game : 70 hours if you’re a completionist, and maybe even more !

Would i recommend it to a friend ? : Yeah russian games are good !

Did i pay for it ? : No… downloaded it via a Torrent.

Dr. Mark Butcher

Call me Marco. My real identity and Whois are kept secret for obvious reasons. My articles can be emotionally positive or negative. As a Doctor i own a partnership allowing me to offer you here TOP premium supplements to the best price. (click here)

Appelez moi Marco. Mon identité et Whois sont gardés secrets pour d'évidentes raisons. Mes articles sont émotionnellement positifs comme négatifs. Docteur, mon partenariat me permet de vous offrir ici même les meilleurs produits au meilleur prix. (cliquez-ici)

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